The Energy That Became Donald Trump

We created Donald Trump. By “we”, I mean humanity over eons of time. He is the personification of everything that is negative and not of The Light on our planet.

He is a mirror reflecting back to us what we have become.

It wasn’t the majority of voters who elected Donald Trump. It was the Electoral College. The greater number of voters recognized him for what he is, but in the states with the greatest number of Electoral votes, those voters were lulled into a dark place where it is acceptable to worm your way out of your financial obligations, grope women, rape children, demean minorities, plunder the land, and build walls to keep people out. By the way, the ancestors of every one of us came from somewhere else…including Donald Trump’s.

Regardless of how we voted, we are all responsible for creating Donald Trump. Every thought, word and deed that was less than the Perfection of God, that each and every one of us thought, uttered or did, since the beginning of time, created Donald Trump.

Why is it that humans seem to ignore problems until the problem is so big it threatens life itself and/or the planet we call home? We seem to have the attitude that even though the roof has a hole in it, why bother fixing it when it isn’t raining (yet). It seems we need catastrophic conditions to wake us up. This is one of those times.

It’s clear what our work must be now. We, the Light Workers, must begin cleaning up that mass of dark energy.

Hate and anger is not the way to go.

Forgiveness of self and others (yes, even Donald Trump), Love and Compassion is what we need.

Since Mankind created this situation, Mankind is responsible for transmuting the negative energy back to The Light of God.

It’s time to get to work!

Philip…I Celebrate Your Life

In this lifetime you were my grandson. While you were here I had no idea our souls were so closely bonded. You came into our family because you knew you could communicate with me, as evidenced by our telepathic conversation as you were getting ready to be born. This connection proved to be very important.

In your immediate past life, you were a Marine in Viet Nam and that body is still there. Yours is a very strong personality and when you saw how the Viet Nam veterans were treated you were incensed. While in spirit you devised a plan whereby you would be reborn; become a Marine again, but this time, your death would draw a lot of positive attention not only to those who came back alive but to those who didn’t. Now, how do I know this? You told me your whole story three months after you died.

You were only 19 years old when that roadside bomb took your life on Sept. 3, 2006. I often wonder what you would be today. You had so much talent, Phil. You could play several musical instruments; had a wonderful sense of humor; had a way of getting into…and out of…trouble. Everyone who knew you loved you.

So it’s coming up to 10 years since you left us. As much as I miss you and wonder what you would be today, I choose to celebrate all the wonders of you. I choose to remember your smile, your voice. I look back on pictures taken of you playing on a beach on Cape Cod and laugh at you herding seagulls. I choose to remember how handsome you looked in your dress uniform. Actually, it didn’t matter what you were wearing, you were just one good looking kid!

And so, Philip, as the 10^th anniversary of your passing approaches, I choose to dwell on only the good stuff.

This is a poem I started to write when you went to boot camp. I got five stanzas into it and hit a brick wall. I knew I would finish it when you came back…and I did. The remainder of the poem practically wrote itself. It was as if a part of me knew what was going to happen next and would not allow it to be written ahead of time.

Philip

Hey, Gramma

I haf ta go now he said

just before traveling

through the birth canal.

We were communicating Soul to Soul

my first grandson and I.

I was in the waiting room

he was waiting in the womb.

You can see them now

the nurse proclaimed.

He was on his mother’s tummy

I approached from behind.

He raised his head, looked

over his shoulder,

gave me a big smile that said

Hey, Gramma. Here I am

Nurses are in total disbelief

Put that kid down

let him walk home they said.

His life of selective rebellion

already beginning.

Here I am     indeed.

He grew, as most boys do,

rough     mischievous     risk-taking.

He grew as handsome

as he could be irritating.

The future Marine emerged

a butterfly from a cocoon.

He knew what he wanted.

He wanted to be a Marine

Basic training and

specialized training followed

high school graduation.

Eager to go     eager to serve

he left in July ’06 for Iraq.

He was doing what he wanted to do.

Then came that dark day

two uniformed Marines

knocked on his parent’s door.

We regret to inform you. . .

I petitioned God  

Let me see him one more time.

He was so beautiful

surrounded by brilliant light,

smiling     strong     unblemished.

Hey Gramma.

I haf ta go now. See ya later. Love ya.

The Angel of Peace

and the Angel of Joy

met him at Heaven’s barracks door.

Welcome Home, son.

Mission accomplish

Job well done.

A few years later I wrote this poem. Phil, this one was for you, too.

Chimes

I walk through the cemetery,

occasionally stop to read stones,

imagine life stories of the dead.

So many graves

with baskets of withered flowers

or no flowers at all.

As I walk toward the cluster of flags

I hear the tinkling of chimes,

stirred by the breeze,

coming from his gravesite.

The chimes are

dog tags hanging

from improvised hooks.

How like him

to have icons of war

making heavenly music

over his grave.

We Are Creators

Life does not offer us guarantees. If it did, we would not learn/remember how to create. We are creators. That is what we are supposed to be doing... remembering how to create like the gods we are. That is what we are here for! We are gods.

At the time I read “Ye Are Gods”, by Annalee Skaren, back in the early 1980s, there was so much I did not understand. The first time I tried to read that book, I couldn't read more than a page or two before I would fall asleep. The book went back on the shelf. Three years later, I picked it up again and read with partial understanding. Almost everything I have learned since, is that we create our own realities, our own lives, our own destinies...as we go along. That is what Skarin was telling us.

Our life is one decision after another. Each decision that we make, or could have made, has a myriad of possible outcomes. Each possibility has it’s own consequences. We keep choosing. It’s one fork in the road after another.

If life gave us guarantees, we would have no reason to create for ourselves. Life can be unpredictable, boring even,  until we get the hang of visualization. Once we learn to focus on what it is we want (the more detail the better), then we create what it is we want. We are creators, not discoverers. This is when we begin to understand that we are, indeed, gods.

Don’t misunderstand me…I’m still learning how to do this.

(I started writing the above on March 17, 2015. The very next day, in the sports section of the morning newspaper, I read what I consider conformation of my thoughts.)

Geno Auriemma (coach of the UConn women’s basketball team) was interviewed about the excellence of his program. Regarding his success with the women’s program, he is quoted as saying, ‘”We created it. We created the world that we live in. This world didn’t exist. We made it…”’ Geno knows that without his ‘vision’, there would not be this degree of excellence!

The Power of Prayer…Don’t Stop Now

On page A6 of The Hartford Courant (Tuesday, March 10, 2015) is the following headline: Islamic State shows signs of internal turmoil, by Liz Sly of The Washington Post.

The first paragraph: BEIRUT — The Islamic State group appears to be starting to fray from within, as dissent, defections and setbacks on the battlefield sap the group’s strength and erode its aura of invincibility among those living under its despotic rule.

Further into the article is this: “The key challenge facing ISIS right now is more internal than external…”

In my previous posting (What Happens When You Corner A Rat), I suggested that sending God’s Love to the terrorists (and any negative entities) would eventually change their behavior. I postulated that all the Light coming onto the Earth plane right now was causing them to be in their death throes and they were fighting back like cornered rats. I said that I sent them God’s Love every night in my prayers and asked my readers to do the same…Be a Light Unto the World.

This article, in my opinion, shows the power of prayer to change the horrors of our world. When I see what I perceive as the result of prayer made manifest, all I can do is thank God and all the Light Workers all over the world.

What Happens When You Corner a Rat

Years ago, before I was born, my mother and father raised chickens and sold the eggs. I remember my father telling me the story of the time he cornered a rat in the chicken coop. As my father went in for the kill, the rat attacked him. Luckily, my father used his shovel to good advantage and was able to ward off the attack. He emphasized the fact that a cornered rat would be vicious and desperate. I remember wondering why my father told me that story. Now I see it as a metaphor for today's world.

In today's world I see all negativity represented by the rat. Whether it be terrorists or abusers of any kind, they seem to be the headlines of our everyday world...and they seem to be gaining numbers. Why so much evil in our world?

I see it this way. Those within the Company of Heaven, all Light Workers on the Earth plane, angelic beings, and awakening souls are gaining in numbers and the level of Pure God Light they are able to direct to flailing mankind is gaining strength.

Therefore, the dark forces are in their desperate death throes. They are like cornered rats, and, as they feel cornered by all the God Energy they are fighting back. It seems to get more vicious every day.

What is this God Energy? It is Love. The more we love our enemies, the sooner they will yield to that beautiful energy. Every night, in my prayers, I send Love to all the negative energies and entities manifesting in our world today. Sooner or later they'll get it. "Forgive them, Father, for they know not what they do."

One law of the Universe is: in the presence of Light, the darkness must go. 

Be a Light unto the World. 

Addiction, Depression and Suicide

Since Robin Williams’ death, we have been bombarded wall to wall with the pros and cons of addiction/depression/suicide.

Let me tell you about a guy I knew. I knew him and his problems, so this is first-hand information. His drinking was kept in check when his mother was alive. Even after he married, she kept him, and his father, on a short leash. After she died, he had no rudder to guide his life and alcohol took over. He went into rehab several times, but it was never very long before he was at it again. He died after drinking a quart of vodka a day for 5 days. Was that a version of suicide? Was that a subconscious decision to commit suicide? Maybe it was conscious. We’ll never know.

If you think an addicts suicide is an easy way out, a cowardly act, you apparently do not understand the addictive personality. I hope you never do understand it, because that would mean you, yourself, are an addict.

Was that person depressed? You cannot just stop depression. I have experienced depression, but it was fleeting, scary and to this day I don’t understand the “why” of it. I am able to understand others who are depressed and just can’t “shake it.” These people are not necessarily addicts. I know people struggling with depression right now who are not addicts.

I have an addictive personality. For 50 years I was addicted to nicotine. In addition to smoking it was an addiction to time, place, and situation. I became addicted at age 13. Most kids my age at that time didn’t smoke so I thought I was really cool. Tough. It was a ruse so my classmates wouldn’t know how shy and unsophisticated I was; what low self esteem I had. When I was 63 the addiction damned near killed me.

I thank God every day that my last resort attempt to quit worked. Acupuncture. Every year, on the anniversary of my first appointment with the acupuncturist, I send him an email thanking him for however many years it has been that I’ve been clean. This year, around Thanksgiving, I will send him an email acknowledging 15 years of freedom from the addiction. Freedom? Not exactly. Even though I have no desire to smoke, I know that my addictive personality lurks. I traded in smoking for a healthier lifestyle including exercising, walking and bike riding. So far so good.

So the next time you hear someone has committed suicide, whether or not they were addicted or depressed, please do not judge. Send them, and those they leave behind, love instead.

I Believe…

…in reincarnation, and that in the Reincarnation Department, in the realm of Spirit, there is a Review Board

…we all “sign a Contract” with God, before we reincarnate

It’s OK if you don’t agree, but stay with me as I explore my belief in reincarnation, the Review Board, and the Contract.

This is what I believe…

Before we return to Earth to experience another lifetime, we go before the Review Board with our “life’s plan” in hand. We have to convince the Board that, based on our past lives, this proposed plan will provide all or some of the balance our soul needs for advancement. In some of our past lives we were the criminal and in others we were the victim. We have been saints and sinners (I don’t believe in sin, but it’s a word in common usage today). Before we can return to the Father with no further need to experience the Earth plane, we must have balance. In the Alice A. Bailey material (I don’t remember which book), at the instant all souls were created, God ordered that we go, experience ALL things, and return to Me.

Part of our plan consists of agreements with those with whom we will be closely connected…parents, siblings, spouse(s), children. If approved, the energies are set into motion to help facilitate our plan. Now, this does not mean that once we are on the Earth plane everything will go according to plan. Free Will. Remember that? Or for whatever reason, someone else’s plan is not working out and they decide to call it a lifetime and return to Spirit before the end of their Contract, leaving us to find an alternate.

When it comes to spouses and children, I believe that once two souls have kept their promise to give life to however many souls who become their children, their job is done. If, along the way, they find they love each other…that’s a bonus. If not, then there is no penalty for ending that agreement.

This contract has an end point. When we reach that point is when we experience death of the body. However, and I use my mother as an example of this, apparently we can negotiate an extension. My mother passed at age 98 and before that day, she had at least three opportunities to pass. I like to say I would love to have been there when she negotiated a Contract Extension with God.

Do we orchestrate how we will pass at the end of our Contract? I don’t know. I like to think that is one last surprise God has for us. If you think about how many times Life has surprised you, then, why not at its end. And, even then, I believe how a life ends is still part of the plan for balance.

This is just one of my beliefs. Others are there is no such thing as sin, God is loving...not vengeful, heaven and hell are right here on earth, there is life after death, God will not allow humanity to destroy itself or the earth.

Perhaps I will expand on some of those beliefs another time.

Books Worth Reading

You may already be familiar with these three books. If you are, then you know what I mean. If you aren’t, then you might consider reading them.

A good friend loaned the first two to me. I’m so glad she did.

Wishes Fulfilled, Mastering the Art of Manifesting by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer. Dr. Dyer explains in very simple terms how to get what it is you want. He draws on the teachings of St. Germain and the “I AM” Discourses. I have been a student of the original “I AM” Discourses for many years, and I felt that Dr. Dyer’s book brought the concepts of the original discourses up to date for a modern audience. Everything in the book is what I have been explaining to people for some time. Perhaps if my friends read it from Dr. Dyer they will find it more believable. The key: envision (visualize) what it is you want, just the way you want it, already accomplished. Hold that vision regardless of what current conditions are. Hold that vision. It will be yours. When you say “I am” be very careful what you say after that, because if you say it often enough “you will be” for better or for worse.

Dying to be Me, my journey from cancer to near death to true healing by Anita Moorjani. Dr. Dyer wrote extensively about Anita Moorjani and her book in his book Wishes Fulfilled. Moorjani gives us a very clear picture of what “the other side” is like. Her journey is so incredible and heartwarming. Of interest, is her realizing why she had cancer in the first place.

I highly recommend the two books above. Read Dr. Dyer first then Anita Moorjani.

The third book was a Christmas gift. I read it in one sitting…it was that good. I can’t believe I had never heard of the author before, but you can be sure I will be getting more of his books.

have a little faith by Mitch Albom. What do you do when your Rabbi asks you “Will you do my eulogy?” That question took the author on an eight-year journey he never expected and two profound friendships for which he will always be grateful. If you get this book, make sure you have a full box of tissues at your elbow…especially as you get toward the end.

One Nation Under God

Someone recently said (to me) that whenever they heard "one nation under God" it made them angry. This person went on to explain (with great conviction) that the U.S. is many nations under many Gods. They also made a case for atheists who believe in no God.

I had to think about this before responding.

This country is truly made up of peoples from many nations. However, the United States of America is just that...50 united states comprising one nation. The fact that this nation of ours is a melting pot of nationalities makes the U.S. unique. We are ONE NATION.

These many peoples, for the most part, worship many gods.

These 'many' gods are not separate gods, but the same ONE God referred to by different names. There is only ONE GOD, prayed to under different names.

One nation of many peoples, under one God referred to by several names.

“One nation, under God, indivisible...”. The nation cannot be divided, but it seems God has been divided several times. That does not change the fact that it is still ONE GOD.

As for the atheists, I pray for them to one day find a version of the one God that they can believe in.

Healing Your Finances

This theme has been coming up a lot lately. First it has been friends who are struggling and lately, businesses. Now it’s the entire government! I offer a solution, although I’m sure there are others out there.

First

Bless your income. No matter what form your income takes, be it electronic, check, cash, credit card slip. As you assemble the bank deposit say: I am grateful that these people had more than enough money to pay me for … (whatever it is you do). Write “Thank You” on each check.

Second

Bless your bills. Do I hear wild, hysterical laughter out there? No. No kidding. Bless your bills. Say the electric bill has just come in. You open it up and instead of that sinking feeling because the amount is way more than you expected, say this: I bless this bill because if I didn’t have it that would mean I wouldn’t have…..(name everything that you need electricity for). Thank you, God, for electricity.

Now do this for every bill or expense as it occurs.

Third

With each bill you pay, say: I give thanks to the Abundance of the Universe that I have more than enough money to pay this bill. Don’t worry if that is not what the numbers show. It won’t be long before it will be true.

Of course common sense has to be used, too. Don’t go off on a wild spending spree. The Universe will not support that.

When I started using this method of healing finances, I did not change my lifestyle nor did my income change, and within three months I had extra money in my checking account for the first time in months.

A word about my lifestyle at the time…I was supporting four kids with a part time job and welfare. Ah! The good old days! (wink)

I wish you good luck with healing your finances (if that is what you need). And, by all means pass it on to any one you know who needs to do the same.

When the Student is Ready

Back in the early 1980s I started reading Ye Are Gods by Annalee Skarin. Try as I might, I could not get past two pages and I'd fall asleep. And, couldn't remember a word I had read. Back on the shelf it went.

Three years later I picked it up again and devoured it. I couldn't put it down.

What was the difference?

In the intervening three years, I had gained that much more spiritual knowledge/insight that I was now able to absorb maybe 50% of what was being offered. Wrapping my mind around the thought that I was God was a giant step…a process that continues to this day.

Forward to present time...2013.

I have had the three book series, Conversations With God, since they were published starting in 1996. Somewhere along the line I acquire a second set (which I ultimately gave away). Here it is, 2013, and I'm just now finishing Book 1.

Seventeen years later and I'm getting the same message! I AM GOD! Now, before you think I'm crazy or on an ego trip, let me assure you...YOU ARE GOD, too.

Souls were created by God as pieces if Itself (I will use 'It' because God has no gender, since God is All).  Ok, so these Souls, pieces of God, were instructed to Go. Experience all things and return to Me. This is the only way God can know Itself, know Who It Truly Is. As we experience and discover Who We Truly Are, so does God, because we are It!

Think of any one cell of your body. That cell is all of you as well as being part of you. Therefore consider yourself as a cell of the body of God. That makes You part of God as well as God Itself.

In reading Conversations, I find so many of my own thoughts and conclusions being confirmed. Such as there is no such thing as sin. I have not consciously believed in sin for a long time, and, I think that as a kid I subconsciously didn't believe in it. I have embraced the concept that there is NO right or wrong...only consequences. YES!

I could go on and on but the book has already been written.  

If you are a ready student, I encourage you to share the joy. God is my kind of Guy/Gal...serious, funny, non-judgmental, and sometimes down right irreverent.  If you haven't read Conversations With God yet, I hope you will...when you're ready.

Peace on Earth

Christmas carols and cards often have the words: Peace on Earth to men of good will. We also see this version: Peace on Earth and good will to men.

The second version makes more sense to me. Why wish Peace on men of good will when they are obviously doing just fine as it is. The assumption is, if you are of good will you must be Peaceful. Not necessarily so, but let’s assume that the majority are.

I’d rather wish Peace on Earth to those who are exhibiting bad will. These guys need it more don’t you think? I would rather heap Peace on the people who are killing their own countrymen and women and children. Heap Peace on the people who are fighting with their neighbors over national borders. Heap Peace on the people who are killing innocent children in schools, ambushing firefighters and police, blowing up public buildings, fighting unending wars. These are the people who need Peace wished upon them.

Let’s do it right now! Close your eyes and think of as many as you can who need to have Peace heaped upon them. All you have to do is open your local newspaper and read about all the negative stuff that’s going on and you have enough examples to keep you busy for a good chunk of time.

Once you have these individuals and groups in your mind’s eye, Bless them. Just say a little prayer asking that they stop whatever they are doing that goes against the highest good. If you are one to visualize people and situations in White Light, go ahead. That’s even more powerful. Throw a blanket of Pink Light (Divine Love) over the Middle East or your neighbor’s house. Maybe your own house. Wherever Peace is needed!

In Matthew 18:20 Jesus said, “Wherever two or more gather in my name…,” and that is true. The best part is you don’t need to know that you have been gathered! You might think you are on your own, but there may be people in your neighborhood, town or state who are concentrating on the same thing…it constitutes a gathering. Just think of all the good you can do!

Let go of fear…Learn to trust

Many years ago, when my four kids were growing up, I was a single parent. So many times situations would come up and I would say, “Don’t worry. Everything will be ok. Everything will turn out just fine.” Most of the time I had absolutely no idea how that would be accomplished, but I must have done a good job selling it, because my kids (as far as I know) always felt safe “knowing” that mom would take care of everything. And everything would turn out ok!

Today, I give you the same comforting message: “Don’t worry. Everything will be ok. Everything will turn out just fine.” Just like those early days, I have absolutely no idea how that is going to happen, but I know that it will. It always does.

There are a lot of people who seem to be on a mission to scare the hell out of us. We constantly hear how bad the economy is and that we are on the verge of losing everything. They harp on climate change and how global warming is deadly. Then, as if that isn’t enough, the world is going to end on December 21^st.

DO NOT ALLOW THAT KIND OF TALK TO SCARE YOU. “Don’t worry. Everything will be ok. Everything will turn out just fine.”

At a Wholistic Practitioners networking breakfast this morning, I brought up the melting polar ice caps and the dire predictions attendant to this. One of our group added that if we concentrate on all the negative crap that’s being forced on us…then all that negative crap gains strength.

So I say to you, “Don’t worry. Everything will be ok. Everything will turn out just fine.” Think positive. Visualize yourself personally, and the planet as a whole, as calm, serene, having everything necessary to live a happy productive life. Send positive energy to ALL LIFE.

It has been my personal experience that I have always had what I needed. I learned a long time ago not to worry because everything will be ok. Everything will turn out just fine.

Am I Responsible?

Last week as I was riding home on my bike I spotted a good size snapping turtle coming out of a swamp and would eventually cross the road. I took notice and rode on.

About a half mile down the road I saw a man out for his morning walk and I mentioned the turtle as a point of interest in nature. He smiled a very big smile and said something that sounded like he was very happy to hear that.

Today I rode past the same spot and I saw the smashed shell of a turtle in the grass where I had seen the live snapper. Just the shell, no flesh.

Did that man kill the turtle and take the flesh home for soup? There are people who do that. I felt so bad…to think that I might have been responsible because I mentioned it to that man.

He probably would have seen it anyway, but next time…if similar circumstances present themselves…I’ll keep my mouth shut.

Two Major Events

Even though I have not written in this journal for quite some time, it’s not that things have not been happening. Things are always happening! ☺ I just get so caught up in what is happening that I forget to share. And, I have to admit, because I post a lot on Facebook, I tend to neglect my two journals.

Event #1
“I always have what I need” and “I have what I need when I need it.” When it came to selling the house, I said right along that it would sell as soon as the place where I was supposed to go was on the market.

My condo showed up on the lists and I knew it was too good to last. It was in the area I wanted, it had the walk out basement I needed and the price was right. Even though I didn’t have an offer on my house (we were into month 6), I went with my agent to look at the condo. Boom! I got an offer on the house that stuck. The young couple who put the condo up for sale had not expected it to sell so quickly.

Once again my faith in God and how the Universe works was rewarded. It will work for anyone.

The difference between the sale and purchase was enough for me to finish the basement. Nay-sayers didn’t think it was possible. I proved them wrong. I had it done the way I wanted it to look (how I had envisioned it for so long) and I love my “cave.” Everyone who sees it loves it.

This is the first time I have ever occupied a space that was totally mine. No one shares it with me and there are no other opinions that count as to how it’s decorated (or not).

So the lesson here is to know you will always have what you need and you won’t get it until you absolutely need it. Knowing this is the trick.

Event #2
My mother always thought I was a little crazy because of my spiritual/metaphysical beliefs that were so different from her strict Catholic upbringing. I was raised Catholic, also, but even as a child I questioned (and kept that to myself) the teachings/dogma. As I grew older, married and had children, these doubts turned to seeking other philosophies. These other ways of looking at God and the natural world felt so right to me that I eventually moved away from my childhood upbringing. I never moved away from Jesus or God…I just understood them differently.

This past April my mother passed at age 98. Surrounding this event several interesting things happened.

a) a couple days before she died, a stuffed rabbit I had on the top of one of my bookcases fell to the floor. It had been wedged between the ceiling tile and the top shelf, so it was conceivable that it worked loose. I picked it up and put it on a lower shelf until such time as I would get the small step ladder and put it back.

b) when I received the call that she had passed the first thing I did was to pray for her safe, immediate passage back home to Spirit. What I saw was a beautiful gold butterfly encrusted with jewels. This piece was substantial…something you would see in a museum as an artifact from some ancient civilization. The butterfly was seen against the background of living black, which I know to be the “tunnel” we travel through on our way back home.

c) at her funeral a slight movement on top of the coffin caught my eye. It was a tiny Tinker Bell type creature sitting cross-legged and every once in a while she would rise up, wings a-blur , still cross-legged, having a wonderful time entertaining me. She never once faced the alter…I was her prime target. I truly believe this was my mother’s alter ego…a side of her I had never seen…the playful being. Her purpose seemed to be to ease my sadness.

d) two days after her funeral, I was sitting at my computer when I heard a fluttering noise and something hitting the floor in front of the bookcases. I found four books on the floor and, on the shelf where they had been, the stuffed toy owl, Hedwig, was moved. It was like Hedwig had stuck out her left wing and knocked the books off the shelf. No way! I got the step ladder and inspected the shelf for mouse turds, thinking it had to be a critter that pushed the books over the edge. Clean. Interestingly enough, these objects were directly under the place from where the rabbit fell.

OK. What did all that mean? Hedwig is Harry Potter’s messenger owl. But what was the message? The books themselves didn’t make sense…three politically correct humor books and one bird identification. It took me a while but I think I have figured it out. She was telling me that she ‘gets it.’ That she understands. I think she is now in the place where she will always ‘get it’…a place that she couldn’t access from the earth plane because it wasn’t for her to know this time around. AND, how clever of her to choose Harry’s messenger owl! The books were only to get my attention.

Being in this condo is part of my spiritual journey. Proof that visualization and faith really do work and it’s worth the wait, because, I will always have what I need and I will have it when I need it…not a moment before. And it is such a comfort to know my mother is Home.

The Highs and Lows of Life

A prospective buyer looked at the house twice! The second time being Wednesday, Feb. 3rd. On Saturday my agent called and said we had an offer…I told her to accept it. It was less than I had hoped to get, but I want to move on...soon.

Through the course of the evening we had a couple of conversations and I made it clear, because of the price I had agreed upon, I would not “give back” any amount of money…no half and half on things they felt needed to be done. We would sign the agreement on Monday the 8th and they wanted the closing on March 12th.

Sunday morning my agent called me to tell me they had backed out.

I’m still working on my anger and disappointment. I was with a small group last night and we worked on ridding ourselves of all negativity. The negativity that flowed from my hands (into a large bowl of water) was black, tar-like, bile-like gunk, and there was a lot of it. As hard as I tried, I could not get rid of the last remnant at the tips of my fingers. I still have some work to do.

We prayed for the people who backed out of the offer. We prayed that they find the perfect house for them and that they enjoy many years of happiness there.

We also prayed that I will get a binding offer…for a better price, and that my house will be sold quickly.

Feel free to join us in those prayers.

Prayers do work. This same group prayed last week and two things that we prayed for happened.

Change is Never Easy

It seems that whenever there are major changes in my life, everything called my life starts feeling like it’s being squeezed…imagine a tube of toothpaste.

This time around the changes are planned, but that does not diminish the squeeze.

With my mother in a nursing home I cannot afford this big house we shared. Getting it ready for sale is a big job in itself with all the picky, picky cleaning I have been forced to do. You are probably saying to yourself that I should have been doing that regularly anyway. You are right, but that is not within the nature of my beingness. I will put off such things in favor of so many other more pleasurable activities.

Frustration comes in bunches
I find myself trying to go through the process of readying the house for sale with very little money. So in the spirit of being squeezed through a small opening, things start costing me money I don’t have.

A couple weeks ago the hot water hose on the washing machine blew at 10 p.m. To make a long story short, it cost me a night’s sleep and close to $350 for a plumber in the middle of the night (which turned out to be 7:45 the next morning!). ☹

(You can read the whole sad story at my main blog, “Look What I’m Up To Now”. See Plumbing Problem, Monday, August 10th.)

Then I get a notice from the bank that holds the mortgage on this house my mortgage payment is going UP almost $260 a month. What happened? We used to get senior citizen assistance on town taxes based on my mother’s income…since she had life use of the house. With her in the nursing home the assistance was based on my income, which was higher than hers. Ergo, my assistance amount was nowhere near as lucrative.

And coming up, will be the cost of having the carpets professionally cleaned.

Spirituality
So what’s so spiritual about all this frustration and chaos? I see it as another test of Faith. I know from experience that I have always had what I needed. Always! Why should this be any different? Being mortal, I have a hard time staying out of the category of “Oh ye of little faith.” I keep reminding myself that I have always had what I needed and I will get through this. Everything will turn out OK.

So what do I need?
I need to sell this house. I really don’t want to do fishes and loaves for too many months. BUT, I can if I have to as long as I continue to acknowledge “someone else” is directing this operation.

Renewing the Contract

It has been so long since I last posted. It’s not that I haven’t had anything spiritual going on in my life…it’s more like I have too much of everything going on.

Since I returned from my Erie Canal bike ride, my mother has been in and out of the hospital and nursing home. Since October 10th, 2008, she has been home three weeks and two days. She’s 96 years old and has had two major abdominal surgeries. She has an indomitable spirit.

She and I have had conversations about we humans having signed contracts with God. The idea being we stay here on earth to the end of the contract. I believe it can be renewed, I’m sure it is in some cases, but there comes a time when God says, “That’s it. Fini.” And in a pre-planned event we make our exit.

I don’t know how many renewals she has had, but in the last year and a half she has come up with more things that should have ended her life here on earth. First she started falling and it turns out she also had bladder infections. What we thought for years was over active bladder turned out to be a bladder that had forgotten how to empty itself completely.

Once we had that under control she started with small intestine blockages. The first four were treated without surgery, but the 5th was different. She had just turned 96 and underwent abdominal surgery. Came through it with flying colors. A miracle! She finally came home from this one in December. She was home for 3 weeks and had another blockage.

Another surgery on January 6th of 2009. We all thought she was going to die. She pulled through. However, when she was transferred back to the nursing home on January 26th she was unable to walk. We thought she would never walk again. After one week of physical therapy she started walking.

The end of March she came out of the nursing home and we all expected this time she would not be going back to the hospital or nursing home ever again. Two days home and she twisted her right knee. Back to the ER and back to the nursing home.

She was back there about a week when she was transported back to the hospital with a high fever and she was diagnosed with a staph infection AND clots in her legs even though she had been on Coumadin. Another week in the hospital treating the infection and the clots and she’s now back in the nursing home.

We will probably never know what’s going on between her and her God, but the meetings must be interesting!

I guess one of the lessons is Never doubt the strength of the human spirit. And another is Never question why God keeps renewing the contract.

In my prayers I have offered everything up to God. I have told Him I can’t do this any more and I acknowledge He is in complete control. What a relief…for both of us. ☺

Guardian Angels

Have you ever seen your Guardian Angel? If you said "no", I bet you have, but didn’t know it.

Here’s my Guardian Angel story.
It was in the early ‘90s and I was scheduled to fly into the Ontario, CA airport to visit Pam and Steuart Bell who lived in Chino Hills. My flight was for mid-afternoon on a Friday. Then the line of severe weather (from Maine to Florida) came through and delayed all east coast air travel five hours.

By the time we finally took off, the flight plan took us north into Canada, over Lake Ontario, then south along Lake Michigan to O’Hare Airport in Chicago. We flew between storm clouds being lit internally by lightening. Our plane was so small by comparison…imagine a walnut sailing between two aircraft carriers. We actually saw Niagara Falls all lit up. What a sight! So far, this is the good news.

Once we deplaned, all connecting flights were long gone. United Airlines was offering vouchers for restaurants (which were all closed) and for hotel accommodations (but would not help obtaining those accommodations). I heard others screaming into phones that such and such hotel had to give them a room; after all they were stranded! I decided to bed down at O’Hare. After changing my flight plans to land in Los Angelis instead of Ontario (Pam and I were going to a Whole Health Expo right there in LA), I grabbed a couple of blankets from the United podium and stretched out on the waiting room seats to spend the night.

I could not have been safer. There was no one around except the cleaning people and they weren’t there for long. And it was cold. I found out that Chicago O’Hare is kept at 45 degrees and the rest of the warmth is made up from running equipment, lights and warm bodies. At night none of that exists except lights.

I woke up at one point and a man in his 30s was sitting at the end of the row of seats where I was sleeping. He had on sneakers, blue jeans, a plaid shirt, suede jacket, had a briefcase on his lap and was working on a legal size yellow pad (all night). He never looked my way. He never said a word. He was there all night and I had a sense of being watched over and protected.

In the morning, around 6 a.m., O’Hare came alive. The coffee vendors were the first to arrive and soon the whole place smelled delicious. I got up, folded my blankets, and gathered my backpack and one piece of carry-on luggage. As I turned toward where the man had been sitting, the seat was empty. I never saw him get up and leave.

I knew then he was my Guardian Angel. I’m not talking “metaphor”; I mean the Real Deal. How do I know? There are some things you just know.

Oh, yeah. Just so you know what happened to my luggage. It traveled on to Ontario Airport and arrived in Chino Hills 8 hours after I landed at LAX. At least it arrived! ☺

Why Am I Here?

This past Sunday my sons, Paul and Andy, came over to help clean out my garage. Andy could not believe how much junk we loaded into his truck to be hauled away. The garage looks so nice I frequently look in just to marvel! ☺ It felt good to see all that “stuff” go.

Then, as frequently happens, the Universe steps in and gives me confirmation of what just happened. I received the following today by email from Neale Donald Walsch (author of Conversations With God):

On this day of your life, Beverly, I believe God wants you to know...
....that earthly possessions are not what you came here to gather.

Do not worry about your earthly possessions. Place your attention on your heavenly goal--the evolution of your soul--and you will find peace even while on earth.

You will not have to think but a second to know exactly why you received this message today.

I didn’t have to think about why I received the message. I knew. I have a storage closet and three bookcases that have to be sorted through next. The last time I started divesting myself of “stuff” my kids thought I had some terminal illness and wasn’t telling them. That’s how much of a pack rat I am. In that instance I kept getting the message that I had to get ready to travel light. I wasn’t sure if light meant “weight” or “spiritual awakening.” As it turned out, it meant both.