Addiction, Depression and Suicide

Since Robin Williams’ death, we have been bombarded wall to wall with the pros and cons of addiction/depression/suicide.

Let me tell you about a guy I knew. I knew him and his problems, so this is first-hand information. His drinking was kept in check when his mother was alive. Even after he married, she kept him, and his father, on a short leash. After she died, he had no rudder to guide his life and alcohol took over. He went into rehab several times, but it was never very long before he was at it again. He died after drinking a quart of vodka a day for 5 days. Was that a version of suicide? Was that a subconscious decision to commit suicide? Maybe it was conscious. We’ll never know.

If you think an addicts suicide is an easy way out, a cowardly act, you apparently do not understand the addictive personality. I hope you never do understand it, because that would mean you, yourself, are an addict.

Was that person depressed? You cannot just stop depression. I have experienced depression, but it was fleeting, scary and to this day I don’t understand the “why” of it. I am able to understand others who are depressed and just can’t “shake it.” These people are not necessarily addicts. I know people struggling with depression right now who are not addicts.

I have an addictive personality. For 50 years I was addicted to nicotine. In addition to smoking it was an addiction to time, place, and situation. I became addicted at age 13. Most kids my age at that time didn’t smoke so I thought I was really cool. Tough. It was a ruse so my classmates wouldn’t know how shy and unsophisticated I was; what low self esteem I had. When I was 63 the addiction damned near killed me.

I thank God every day that my last resort attempt to quit worked. Acupuncture. Every year, on the anniversary of my first appointment with the acupuncturist, I send him an email thanking him for however many years it has been that I’ve been clean. This year, around Thanksgiving, I will send him an email acknowledging 15 years of freedom from the addiction. Freedom? Not exactly. Even though I have no desire to smoke, I know that my addictive personality lurks. I traded in smoking for a healthier lifestyle including exercising, walking and bike riding. So far so good.

So the next time you hear someone has committed suicide, whether or not they were addicted or depressed, please do not judge. Send them, and those they leave behind, love instead.

I Believe…

…in reincarnation, and that in the Reincarnation Department, in the realm of Spirit, there is a Review Board

…we all “sign a Contract” with God, before we reincarnate

It’s OK if you don’t agree, but stay with me as I explore my belief in reincarnation, the Review Board, and the Contract.

This is what I believe…

Before we return to Earth to experience another lifetime, we go before the Review Board with our “life’s plan” in hand. We have to convince the Board that, based on our past lives, this proposed plan will provide all or some of the balance our soul needs for advancement. In some of our past lives we were the criminal and in others we were the victim. We have been saints and sinners (I don’t believe in sin, but it’s a word in common usage today). Before we can return to the Father with no further need to experience the Earth plane, we must have balance. In the Alice A. Bailey material (I don’t remember which book), at the instant all souls were created, God ordered that we go, experience ALL things, and return to Me.

Part of our plan consists of agreements with those with whom we will be closely connected…parents, siblings, spouse(s), children. If approved, the energies are set into motion to help facilitate our plan. Now, this does not mean that once we are on the Earth plane everything will go according to plan. Free Will. Remember that? Or for whatever reason, someone else’s plan is not working out and they decide to call it a lifetime and return to Spirit before the end of their Contract, leaving us to find an alternate.

When it comes to spouses and children, I believe that once two souls have kept their promise to give life to however many souls who become their children, their job is done. If, along the way, they find they love each other…that’s a bonus. If not, then there is no penalty for ending that agreement.

This contract has an end point. When we reach that point is when we experience death of the body. However, and I use my mother as an example of this, apparently we can negotiate an extension. My mother passed at age 98 and before that day, she had at least three opportunities to pass. I like to say I would love to have been there when she negotiated a Contract Extension with God.

Do we orchestrate how we will pass at the end of our Contract? I don’t know. I like to think that is one last surprise God has for us. If you think about how many times Life has surprised you, then, why not at its end. And, even then, I believe how a life ends is still part of the plan for balance.

This is just one of my beliefs. Others are there is no such thing as sin, God is loving...not vengeful, heaven and hell are right here on earth, there is life after death, God will not allow humanity to destroy itself or the earth.

Perhaps I will expand on some of those beliefs another time.